Hairapy
No, this isn't an advertisement for "Sunsilk." I have been dwelling on the large amounts of time, huge chunks of my life spent blow-drying my hair. "Why?" you ask. Well, because all my life I've had this extremely voluminous mass of hair that weighs down my head and causes me to have nightmares about waking up looking like Cousin It from the Adams Family or about losing years of my life to something so unimportant as blow-drying my hair. About a month ago I cut it off. I like it especially since it's about 200% cooler however I had false notions about it taking LESS time to blow-dry. It's actually about the same amount of time. This is disturbing.
In my profession it's hard to stay looking professional. You know, you should look professional in a profession. Are you tired of the word profession yet? Anyway, unless you are Paul Mitchell (Paul, are you there? Help. Please? Paul?) there is no way to keep this head of hair looking frizz-free and put-together while working out in the heat, humidity, wind and cow poopie.
Side note: Read the words in parentheses again and tell me you did not start singing, "Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody....." as you imagined me calling out for Paul.
I often wonder why I spend over an hour getting ready for work, washing and drying my thick head of hair and then straightening it to the best of my ability when I arrive at work and 10 minutes thereafter I look like medusa with an afro. Cue the snakes again. Oh, wait that was the last post. Perhaps if I went to visit Audrey, my stylist and colorist (oh -- did I just say colorist? That was a typo. I would NEVER color my hair. Spring chickens don't need hair color anyway) every few weeks and paid her more than the $90.00 I pay her now every few months I might be able to give the illusion of having movie star hair. And I could live up to my name, Dr. Sexy Hair. Also, while we are on the subject, kind of. Okay, not really but...if I were going to pay that much for my hair why not just go ahead and hire the physical trainer I've been tormenting myself with. I mean what's a handful more twenty dollar bills a month? If I were more like Robyn and could catapult myself out of bed at 5am every morning to work out and to be able to kick rear in jujitsu I wouldn't need a physical trainer. But I'm not. She always could run circles around me in tennis, couldn't you Raw Banana? I wasn't then, but now I'm so, so jealous.
Sincerely,
Cousin It
In my profession it's hard to stay looking professional. You know, you should look professional in a profession. Are you tired of the word profession yet? Anyway, unless you are Paul Mitchell (Paul, are you there? Help. Please? Paul?) there is no way to keep this head of hair looking frizz-free and put-together while working out in the heat, humidity, wind and cow poopie.
Side note: Read the words in parentheses again and tell me you did not start singing, "Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody....." as you imagined me calling out for Paul.
I often wonder why I spend over an hour getting ready for work, washing and drying my thick head of hair and then straightening it to the best of my ability when I arrive at work and 10 minutes thereafter I look like medusa with an afro. Cue the snakes again. Oh, wait that was the last post. Perhaps if I went to visit Audrey, my stylist and colorist (oh -- did I just say colorist? That was a typo. I would NEVER color my hair. Spring chickens don't need hair color anyway) every few weeks and paid her more than the $90.00 I pay her now every few months I might be able to give the illusion of having movie star hair. And I could live up to my name, Dr. Sexy Hair. Also, while we are on the subject, kind of. Okay, not really but...if I were going to pay that much for my hair why not just go ahead and hire the physical trainer I've been tormenting myself with. I mean what's a handful more twenty dollar bills a month? If I were more like Robyn and could catapult myself out of bed at 5am every morning to work out and to be able to kick rear in jujitsu I wouldn't need a physical trainer. But I'm not. She always could run circles around me in tennis, couldn't you Raw Banana? I wasn't then, but now I'm so, so jealous.
Sincerely,
Cousin It
I too have an aversion to hair color, which seems to be a very rare trait these days. Should we blame our moms?!
ReplyDeleteYou could definitely run circles around me in tennis. LOL And, our secret, I was jealous of your skills. I liked our cute tennis skirts though!
ReplyDelete