To Eat or Not to Eat.....

You think this entry is going to be about beef don't you? Don't you? Well, it's not. The holstein above is my first LDA (left displaced abomasum) surgery. See the incision in the left paralumbar fossa? This entry is not about that cow either. However, a cow is the culprit.

Today I was trimming claws (hooves) on a cow with corkscrew claws..a hereditary condition where the lateral, or outside claw grows long and curves upward in a corkscrew fashion. It can even invade the personal space of the medial, or inside claw. The medial claw doesn't like this invasion and in addition, it hinders proper weight-bearing mechanics on the hooves. So, I was trimming with my DeWalt grinder, a pair of hoof trimmers, and a hoof knife. My trusty high school helper 'Lancelot' had secured and lifted the foot up to allow me to trim it with the bottom of the claws off the ground. Unfortunately, the cows don't take kindly to having their feet hoisted up behind them and sometimes they decide to kick. Sometimes they kick a lot. With one foot tied behind them they can't go far but they can certainly put up a hissy fit. This one did. 'Lancelot' didn't secure the foot as tightly as possible and when I bent down to brush the underside clean of manure the cow kicked, spraying manure into the air and plastering dime and quarter sized plaques of cow poopie all over me. When I say all over me I mean chunks covering my eyelids, my cheeks, in my hair, and yes, ladies and gentlemen....I ate cow poopie. It was utterly disgusting. And everyone laughed.

I had no intentions of writing about this somewhat embarassing and very grotesque incident. However, when I relayed the news to my significant other and he died laughing and then I told one of my best friends in Dallas and she snorted with laughter...for 10 minutes, I thought it might be newsworthy or at least give a few more laughs. Too bad I didn't take a picture.